Margaret Zachary
Opossums get a bad rap. They’re thought of as dirty, rabid, vicious creatures who strike out when confronted; on the contrary, they’re actually quite docile. People tend to shudder when they hear the word opossum--actually, we don’t even say opossum because we’re lazy and have decided it’s easier to say possum, even though possums are a different species of marsupial that live in Australia…but I digress…
A few weeks ago, I met my very first opossum. He was on cricket duty first thing in the morning in front of my workplace, so naturally a coworker and I caught him and kept him in our back field while we decided what to do with him. He was scared, so he naturally tried his first line of defense–hissing. He hissed and hissed, but nothing changed for him. What happened next was quite funny to watch (I’ve always heard opossums do this, but I’ve never seen it in action). As if in slow motion, he rolled over on his side, opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and lay as still as possible. When hissing didn’t work, his next option was to play dead. That was what he determined would be the best and safest option for him. He didn’t attack, fight, or try to run; he just stayed perfectly still with his mouth hanging open and his tongue hanging out, waiting for us to leave him alone.
I started thinking about how humans respond to fear: fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of confrontation, fear of heartbreak, even fear of success. Sometimes we act like skunks— throwing gas bombs and wreaking havoc around anything or anyone who threatens our sense of personal security— and sometimes we hiss and spit, and say things we can’t take back. Oftentimes, however, we shrink away from opportunities and situations simply because we have created a habit of avoiding the things that scare us.
We play dead.
While this tactic works well in keeping opossums alive, for us humans, this is one of the biggest obstacles to our success. Inaction as a result of fear keeps us stuck.
I “played dead” at one point in my career, working for five years in the same company with no desire for movement or long-term success. I was a zombie, going through the motions day after day without care or concern for my own personal happiness or well-being. Fortunately, I was revived with shock paddles when some extreme events forced me to choose between being stuck there forever and moving forward.
Hopefully, shock paddles won’t always be required. We ourselves have the power to make conscious choices to move, and we can make them now.
We can have absolutely anything we want out of life: wonderful family, fulfilling career, financial stability, spiritual wholeness, etc., but we don’t go after it. We just play dead.
Why are you “playing dead” in the most important areas of your life?
Why are you selling yourself short when you deserve to have the best of everything in life? You only have one life.
Why aren’t you ending that unhealthy relationship?
Why aren’t you having that important conversation with your spouse/mom/friend/employer?
Why aren’t you going after that better-paying, more fulfilling career you want?
Why aren’t you achieving your health goals?
Why aren’t you decluttering your home?
Why aren’t you devoting time to your spiritual life?
Why aren’t you taking personal time?
Why aren’t you moving?
Why? It’s scary, that’s why, and now your response to fear has become like the opossum’s: you have created a habit of playing dead instead of CHOOSING LIFE.
I get it! Fear of the unknown is terrifying. We listen to fear’s voice saying, “You can’t,” or “You shouldn’t,” so we just don’t. And as a result, we stop really living.
Fear is a subtle darkness that creeps into the corners of our minds. We let it paralyze us, eating away and sometimes even making us sick. We let fear keep us just barely existing, instead of truly living.
So how do we overcome fear and change the pattern we’ve fallen into?
First, little opossum, it’s time to get up and stop playing dead. The predator in your mind is not real; although it has a subtle, dark, evil voice, recognize and understand where it comes from, and speak back to it. Take your power back from fear and keep it in your own hands.
Second, you need to act. Every living thing was made to grow: plants, animals, humans. The reason you’re dissatisfied is because you’re not growing, and you’re not growing because you’re not acting. You’ve let fear stunt your growth. Once you start taking action, you will see and feel major shifts in your life and overall happiness.
Fight back. Fight for your life.
You are in control of your life. You have the power to change anything that does not move you forward. Yes, events happen that are out of your control, but you decide your responses to those events and choose how they serve you. You can stand up to the fear that creeps in and change the pattern of your responses. You can say, “No, Fear. I’m going to do it anyway.”
To fight fear and really live, you must believe you deserve it. Do you deserve that amazing career? Do you deserve that healthy relationship? Do you deserve financial freedom? Do you deserve health and wellness? Do you deserve spiritual wholeness? You do. You have one life. You deserve everything life has to offer.
Ask yourself, are you choosing to be an opossum, “playing dead” when you could be choosing life?
As a human being, you have been created beautifully and perfectly, and there is nobody else in the world like you. Nobody else can make the contributions to this world that you were created to make, so go after what you want, what you need, what your soul begs for. Don’t let fear take over your life.
Do you know you deserve it?
Margaret McCormick is a core energy coach in the Austin area. She partners with survivors of unexpected life events to help them regain control over their minds, bodies, and spirits.